If you have a problem with a commitment, then you don't
need a commitment. As simple as this! But be prepared to
spend your old and sick years alone, watching other
grandchildren play with their grandparents.
Generally, not wanting to commit is not a problem as
such. It is a problem, however, if you are in a
committed relationship already, but you have a
"problem" with tying the knot.
And needless to say, that is a problem with men much
more often than it is with women. If a woman tells you she
is not ready for a commitment and she is over 25-27, then
we can bet all sorts of money she is not serious about you
at all and keeps you as a substitute, until she finds
someone she likes. If that's all right with you, then have
fun and enjoy yourself, but if you are having serious
intentions about this woman, don't waste your time, she
won't marry you. If you manage to wait her out and in the
end she finally marries you, she won't be happy (remember,
from her point of view, she had to "settle" on someone who
wasn't her first choice) and it will reflect on your
marriage, ultimately making you unhappy as well. Yes,
exceptions are possible and they do exist, but those are
exceptions, guys! The general rule still prevails.
If, on the other hand, you are a male and over 27, have
been in a long-term relationship, particularly living with
your partner for over 2 years and you are still "not ready
for a commitment", then you are either fooling yourself
and your partner or you have what sometimes
referred to as an "infantilism".
Infantilism is largely a North American
phenomenon. It is generally the case in North America, and
particularly with young males, that people "grow up" and
mature much later than in other parts of the world. In
Canada you can't even leave a child under 12 at home alone
(in many countries children start working and helping
parents at 7). The school bus takes kids to school and
brings them back from home until they are 18! A person is
officially a teenager until they are 21. In other
countries, a 21-year old person often has a family and 2
children, studies and works full-time at the same time,
while helping parents to take care of grandparents.
North American life style and mentality, along with
technological advancements, very high standards of living,
relatively high compensation, lots of free time and
cheap entertainment have produced a generation of
self-centered people, focused on caring about themselves
(health, sports, looks, etc.), having fun and enjoying
life. They are not in a rush to accept responsibilities
and worries that are connected with having a family. They
would rather postpone this for as long as they can (and
males can afford to do so much more than females, they
don't need to worry about a biological clock). The
feminist movement in this part of the world has taught
women to earn their own income and become socially
independent. So North American females insist on their
rights to be independent, and males gladly take it as a
liberation from financial responsibility.
For the first time in centuries and only in the last
2-3 decades, and only in North America, men do not have to
make substantial financial contributions (dinners do not
fall in this category, guys!) to have a female partner.
Regular sex, cooked food, clean living space, love and
care, nice conversations - all this was traditionally part
of a family life only available with marriage, and
marriage implied financial and social responsibilities.
Nowadays, family life pleasures became available to
men without the unavoidable necessity to provide
for the family. If women in North America managed to
finally liberate themselves from the prison of housework
and unplanned childbirth labor, men benefited alike, if
not more. Women are no longer forced to be dependent on
men to survive, so men gladly take it as financial
liberation, in turn.
From what we have said so far, it is only logical to
agree that if a man has already been enjoying a family
life style with a female partner (by living together) but
says that he "is not ready for a commitment", then he is
simply getting a free ride (using a woman) while leaving a
door open for an exit, if need be. Otherwise, if he is
"ready" to live with a woman for more than 2 years, why
isn't he "ready" to marry her?
