I am not good looking and can't attract the type of person I want..
 

It's true, the better looking we are, the easier it is for us to attract the opposite sex. Let's face it. But look around, how many really good looking people will you see? Not that many. In fact, very few (leave Hollywood and models alone). Look at reality. For example, look at wives/husbands of successful people and tell, how many of them are stunningly good looking? Some are, yes, but not all and not all are stunning. In fact, many of them, at a closer look, have not been endowed with an outstanding appearance by birth. At a closer look, you will see that the majority of these people look handsome, because they have fit bodies, good health, good style, and a strong sense of self-appreciation. They take very good care of themselves and are continuously on the search for yet something better and more effective. Combined together, these characteristics account for 80% of their good looks.
 

If you were lucky to have been born just normal, then you can look attractive, no matter what you think at the moment. But in most cases, it will take a lot of work, curiosity, research and dedication. Lazy people generally don't look attractive, unless there were just born such (but even then, what I call an "uncultivated and sloppy" mindset and style often make these people appear ordinary).

To look attractive, you cannot be overweight (but you can have a few extra pounds), you need to dress well so that it is pleasant to look at, you need to have a nice hair, not just an expensive hair cut, and finally you need to have something about you that will make you different from others - your personality, or style.

The most difficult thing is to figure what this is, your style. It will depend on your character, your life experience, your hobbies and interests, your tastes and opinions. Do not try to be someone else, perhaps, someone you admire or envy. Find out what becomes you, personally, and it doesn't matter what it is - whatever emphasizes the best of your looks and hides the worst - take it.

However, the key issue here is to evaluate yourself objectively and to make good judgment calls. If you feel that you cannot fully rely on yourself to do these two things, look for advice. Do not be shy, ask as many people as you can, look for examples, try various combinations, be curious. But be realistic and find your type. If you decide that you want to look like Cindy Crawford and you are a 5"2 tall, you will fail, no matter what you do and how much effort you will put into it. But in any case, keep moving, change your hair style and color as often as you can afford, buy various styles of clothes, loose weight, whatever, as long as you are moving, you will improve. Don't just sit there and be depressed.

Another thing that many people fail to consider is the time span. If you want a significant change in your appearance, be prepared to spend 2-3 years on getting it. Why? Because your attractive new looks will come as a result of all the things that you will be doing in order to get them, and those things will take time. Your new attractive looks will be a result of a new "attractive" you. As long as you are prepared for a journey and not a quick fix, you will get where you want to be.

Here are some practical tips to help you stay on the right track:

• Do not be overly comfortable with yourself.
  Feel free to hide things, unless you want everyone to look at them, of course. For example, if you are an overweight woman, do not wear tights or "comfy" clothes. Wear long fitting skirts and dresses, of darker colors, with lighter low-cut tops which emphasize your cleavage. If you are an overly skinny guy, try to wear "official" type of clothing more often. Suits and dress pants always make men look better than they are....You get an idea.
   
• Determine your type and constantly work on improving it.
  Establish your best parts and your worst parts (we all have them!). Emphasize your best parts and work on improving your worst parts. If you have a bulging tummy, get rid off it. If you are flat-chested and a plastic surgery is not an option, make your torso look like an hour-glass and your buttocks firm and shapely. Even though your breasts may be small, your overall slim and firm shape will make you look very sexy in the end. If you are a short guy, grow as much muscles as you can. Built men generally look 2 inches taller than they are.
   
• Approach your looks as you would approach a part-time job.
  Well, almost. In other words, whether you want it or not, you have to do it - look your best. And it does take time and care. You need to think what to buy and what to wear (especially what not to wear). You need to become fit and do specific exercises (the most unpleasant ones, usually) to keep your body in shape. You can't eat anything you want, as much as you want and whenever you want, things like these (do you hate me already? drop it, I am telling you the truth).
   

Whatever you do, you will find out that as a result of your efforts, you will not only become more attractive, but also more confident and interesting to be with. You will gain knowledge, experience and character - something that we don't get by mere birth. All this will make you attractive and desirable. Ever wondered why some people look more attractive aged?

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